30 Daze..

I have experienced thirty of the most strangest days I've ever had {at least consecutively} & it's a lot to digest.

 On/Off relationships, thoughts on how we give words so much power, emotional 'rugs' ripped from underneath your feet, how quickly your everyday life will change without hesitation or consideration to ones mental/emotional health. It's natural to doubt oneself, as humans we usually have to place the blame somewhere. To make ourselves feel a certain way. 

Well.. I'm not going to settle for that. AT ALL. 

 If anything these experiences have given me freedom & a new view of life. Of course it sounds overly optimistic {which is not my usual nature} but I have no choice but to be. 

Speaking freely to many but easier to write in singular than plural form.. 

 I want you to know that I will & always continuously love, miss, & think of you. It's hard to imagine my life without you, as you've been a key person for some time. When we actually met for the first time, it felt more like we were reuniting after being away for a long time. I knew you & you already knew me. We spoke everyday without words. No one else could understand us, but it was okay. It was easier for them if they didn't.. 
 I can't place the starting location of where it went wrong. We are powerful & consuming beings; it's hard to fight your shadow in the ocean. And when the forces battle.. I believe no one wins. There are many losses. 

 You flutter pass me on the streets, I can feel you/you can feel me {as we always have!}. It's like a cool blue flame but neither skips a beat. We are soul mates. Not in the human relationship meaning. More in the intangible realm. So as much as this hurts, a small piece of me knows.. it's not the end. 

"The only direction is forward.."
"It's like our friendship came from antiquities, old, pre-destined.." {direct quotes from someone else but I felt it was applicable} 



It will be a hard & lonely, enlightening & soul searching,  complicated & emotional chapter ahead.
 
ppfftttt... I'm already tired. 

{real talk.}